


My Mind Is Not a Castle

by always_play_with_fire



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, First-Person Victim, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Mind Control, Mind Control Is Rape, Post-Episode: s05e03 Corridors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:48:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28740513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/always_play_with_fire/pseuds/always_play_with_fire
Summary: What exactly does our favorite trauma kitty go through after Horde Prime decides she's too much trouble?Way too many stories have people "get over" mind control as soon as it ends, never for it to be mentioned again, and it's endlessly frustrating. Anyone who writes that sort of thing should know that taking away someone's bodily autonomy is plenty traumatic even without using them to hurt the people they care about.I hope to counterbalance that by making this one extra fucked up. Suffer and enjoy.
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Prime’s clones carry me away. There are too many of them for me to fight off with my bare claws. I try anyway. Giving up feels worse, somehow. I hope Glimmer is safe.

Prime can kill me if he’d like. I deserve it.

* * *

…………

* * *

Why is this ship so big? All of the clones are way too silent. If they taunted me, I’d know how to handle it. I know how to talk back, how to turn a conversation against them so they would hurt as much as I do. Right now, I might as well be trying to argue with a statue.

So. I’m alone in here. Alone with my thoughts. I try to tell myself that either he kills me, or he doesn’t. One way or the other, I won’t have to listen to him prattling on about purity and shit forever. It doesn’t work. I can’t suppress the thought that he could use me to hurt Etheria. I know it’s impossible. After being imprisoned for this long, anything I know is hopelessly out of date. But nothing helps. I can conquer entire kingdoms, but I’m helpless against a jumble of half-formed thoughts.

Maybe I never was strong.

* * *

………………

* * *

The clones set me down in a room. I can’t see how big it was. Some sort of pattern on the walls makes it hard to see how far away they were. There’s a high dais in the room that Prime is on. In front is some sort of pool with a green liquid in it. Two heavily-armored clones lead me into the pool.

Whatever is in the pool, it’s evil. Everywhere the liquid touches me, a pulsing tingle penetrates my skin and freezes me to the bone. Horde Prime stands and walks into the pool opposite me. He strokes my cheek. His grip isn’t strong, but I’m nearly paralyzed, and I can’t fight him off.

“Why do you fight, little sister? Your rage is hurting you. Give in, and you will be at peace.”

I shut my eyes and force myself not to cry. I will not be vulnerable. I will not show weakness.

Horde Prime releases me. The clones holding on to me push my head underwater. I feel something metal press against my nape. Some sort of blade is in the middle of it, cutting into me. Okay. This hurts, but it isn’t too bad. If this is how I die, I will–

 _Fuck._ I can’t even feel my body. Everything below my neck is pure fire, but under the device, I can feel my flesh being unknitted. I have never been so aware that my body is a physical _thing_ that can be manipulated with tools like anything else. I can’t move. I can’t scream. I can’t even think right. I don’t know how long this goes on for.

Eventually, feeling returns to my body. The pain subsides to a constant, dull ache. I want to run and hide and curl up into a ball, but I’m still frozen in place. The clones holding me lift me from the pool and carry me to Prime. I cough out liquid that I must have inhaled at some point during the procedure. Upon seeing his face, anger returns to me, overpowering all the ways I’m hurt.

“Apologies, little sister. I know that receiving my gift can be unpleasant at first, but keeping you awake is the only way to make sure the implant takes correctly. I have no desire to see you come to harm. Oh, yes,” he adds, responding to the look on my face, _dammit I need to keep my emotions below the surface,_ “it is never too late to seek forgiveness in My light. No longer will you fight the inevitable. You will be at peace.”

 _His gift…_ He chipped me, he must have. If he had his way, I would have died in that pool. He would have used the empty shell of me to scar my friends and forced me to watch it happen. Thank Etheria he failed. Even still, I feel the need to tear the defective device from my skin. Later, though, when I’m alone. I can’t show how affected I am.

I spit. “Did you really think this would work? Did you think your chip would have an effect on anyone besides your army of freaks here? Hah. You’re even stupider than I thought.”

“Enough. I tire of her games. Take her away.”

The clones take me outside the room, and the door shuts. I wanted to get away from him. I succeeded. Why don’t I feel any better?

I run. I keep running through the ship, staying out of sight, to the place I know best, the one place where I can actually talk to someone.

The cell is empty. Glimmer isn’t there. Of course she isn’t. I rescued her. She’s free.

And I’m alone, on a ship crawling with cultists, a million miles away from the nearest other person.


	2. Chapter 2

Glimmer isn’t here.

I climb into the girders above the brig, at once hoping to catch a glimpse of her stupid hair sparkles and hoping that she’s really free. With nowhere else to go, I keep myself hidden. Eventually, I struggle to keep my eyes open.

I’m standing in a clearing in a forest on Etheria. Adora is standing opposite me in a pale gold dress. She isn’t carrying her sword. Her shining blue eyes are framed by a gold mask. My mask. She’s mine. My heart swells. I dive into her arms, and she holds me securely, petting the fur on my face. She pushes me to the ground, her weight and warmth and scent more comforting than any blanket. I’m safe.

“We won!” She laughs. Fuck, I missed that laugh. Then she doesn’t stop laughing. Doesn’t take a breath. She sits up, still laughing. I can’t move. Her laugh turns cruel and her eyes narrow to a slit as their skin peels back into chameleon green. Their long fingers feel like ice on my skin.

Don’t touch me. Get out of my head.

_Didn’t need you. Left you._ Their voice echoes in my mind. I still can’t move.

Their laugh is interrupted by a blast of light. Double Trouble falls to the ground, motionless. I look around for who fired the shot, my eyes darting back to their body, wondering if this is some kind of trick, another way to hurt me.

Horde Prime walks to my side, carrying a laser pistol. He waves a hand, and I can move again.

“Look at how your friends have treated you. Is this what you want, little sister? Why are you still loyal to the ones who hurt you so?”

_Get out of my head._

“I assure you, I am quite merciful. I harbor no resentment against you for your outburst. You can still be redeemed.”

_No. No no no no no no no._

“Come with me, and you will find peace.”

My eyes fly open. That wasn’t my dream. I will never join that bastard.

The realization hits me like a stone. _If that isn’t my dream, it means the chip is working._ I reach behind me, trying to tear the evil device from my body. As my claws make contact with it, it lets out another shock, and my body betrays me. The chip remains undamaged. I break into tears. This can’t be how it ends. I will still fight this.

I try to remember anything I learned in the Horde about resisting mind control. One time, when Shadow Weaver mentioned something about sorcerers, Lonnie asked if they could influence our thoughts.

“The decadent cowards in Mystacor fear power. To them, violating another’s mind is unforgivable. Even a simple truth spell is permitted only on the most incorrigible prisoners.”

That can’t be it. That can’t be all. I try to think of anything else, but I really am alone.


End file.
